I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal (and by recently I mean I recently found my January 31 edition). The point of the article was women with larger breasts have increase risk of adult diabetes (more properly Type II since it is increasing occurring in children and adolescents). That is an of itself is not shocking nor news, since the biggest predictor is obesity and with big bodies often come big boobs. What I found crazy is that the increased risk of diabetes occurs when the study controlled for waist size and BMI. Although, as far as I know, they did not take into consider past size or BMI. Overweight and obese women may develop breasts earlier and to a greater extend due to increased estrogen levels, so larger breasts in some instances may correlate to a larger size person who has lost weight.
On a less serious note, let me explain the big women, big boobs phenomenon. Fat women have large breasts, very skinny women have small breasts. Now that doesn’t always hold, we all know lucky bitches who are skinny and have big boobs, and sadly we all know a couple unfortunate ladies who are big but small chested. But in general we understand, boobs are made of fat, fat people have fat, and therefore there is going to be a relationship. Now some may say this is merely the science of fat distribution, but I know the truth. It is proof there is some sort of just force or God governing the world. Most men are looking for a skinny woman, and that to them is more important than breast size. But there is also a chunk of self proclaimed “breast men”. The “breast men” will pursue larger women knowing there will be larger breasts. This is the mate distribution system. Otherwise only skinny women could ever find men. By giving overweight women bigger breasts the playing field is leveled.
Being dumped can be terrible. Dumping someone can be terrible. While neither party is happy during the dumping, in the long run both may be happier. Well there is an awesome website “So You’ve Been Dumped“
It covers all the important bases of dumping, like what books to read or music to listen to. It has humor and advice. It has good break lines (some good in the true sense, but mostly good in the funny sense). For example, the site suggests Billie Holiday’s -“Good Morning Heartache ” as a post break up song. I would like to share my suggestion, Ani Difranco’s “untouchable face”. One of the books it suggests is Exorcising Your Ex – Elizabeth Kuster . My suggestion is It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken – Greg and Amiira Behrendt.
Harsh Break Up Lines:
“Dating you is killing who I am.”
“I have lost all romantic feelings for you completely, and I desire no future relationship with you.”
“She’s exactly like you used to be – before you became a bitch.”
“I think you love me more than I love you.”
“The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you.”
“I don’t think you have it in you to be a good mother. When I thought about marrying you, I only thought about whether you’d make a good wife…I didn’t think about whether you’d make a good mother too.”
“Really, it’s not you, I’m just going through a selfish phase…”
“I think we have three choices: 1) stay together, 2) take a break, or 3) break up entirely, and I want 2 or 3.”
Nicole’s Top Five Tips for Breaking Up
1. Tell your mutual friends what you are thinking, make them swear to secrecy, and then give it a little time, at least one of them will give him/her a heads up. Maybe they will dump you first, or at least they won’t look like a deer in the headlights.
2. DO NOT START DATING ANYONE ELSE until it is completely over, if you have already started dating someone else then LIE
3. Cry before they do.
4. If you do it close to a holiday, you are a jerk and yes you still have to get a present.
5. His/Her friends, relatives, and coworkers are off limits for a time period equal to or greater than the duration of your relationship (exception-when your ex gets engaged/married)
I thought I would quickly share something random I learned yesterday.
Researcher Alan Hirsch, MD found that the combined aromas of cucumber and Good & Plenty candy and the scent of baby powder tied for first place in a study that tested which scents aroused women the most. Hirsch wrote in his study, “My advice to men would be throw away the cologne and get some Good & Plenty”.
To make it more gay friendly, lets say “My advice to people who like women would be to gets some Good and Plenty”
Imagine the scene – You are standing in the kitchen with your partner on a cold winter evening over the holidays. You get in one of those mega arguments . You call her fat, she calls you mean, tears are shed and voices are raised. She’s swinging her arms and trying to slap at you, you are trying to hold her still. Next thing you know she’s holding a knife…and wham… crazy bitch cuts you. Bloods everywhere. Previously there were only two courses of action.
Option 1: Go to the hospital before you bleed to death/pass out. Basically admit to the world you got owned. Since everyone will know what happened you will be forced to break up.
Option 2: Bleed to death/pass out. She’ll feel really bad for a few days, but won’t respect you anymore so you can expect more beatings for the duration of the relationship. You’ll be forced to stay with her forever because you feel like you can’t do any better.
But now there is an option 3..
Option 3: super glue up the cut and be a man about it. face the possibility of a banging scar and a nasty infection (thats what antibiotics are for anyway). she is so relieved you are okay, and so happy you are not going to the police/hospital, that you can expect some serious sex and attention from the crazy bitch.
During the Vietnam War, emergency medics began using the all-purpose glue to seal
battle wounds in troops headed for surgery. The glue was so good at stemming bleeding that it was credited with saving many lives.
Nowadays, professional athletes often close small cuts with Super Glue or similar products to get back in the game in a hurry. The glues are also used by veterinarians, and many people keep a tube around the house to help them out of a medical pinch. It is believed that the glues — made from the chemical cyanoacrylate — not only stop bleeding quickly, but also lead to less scarring.
So should you keep some Super Glue in the medicine cabinet? Probably not, experts say. Studies show that although the glue can be useful in emergencies, it can also irritate the skin, kill cells and cause other side effects, particularly when used on deep wounds.
There is a safer alternative. In 2001, the Food and Drug Administration approved a similar, antibacterial form of the substance called 2-octyl-cyanoacrylate, which is marketed as Dermabond.
I thought what better way to get through hump day, than a little kissing trivia. Enjoy!
The average person will spend an estimated 20,160 min kissing in their lifetime.
Ancient Egyptians never kissed with their mouths. Instead they kissed with their noses.
Kissing helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva helps clean out your mouth
On Valentine’s Day 2004, 5,122 Philippine coupes gathered together at midnight and locked lips. This kissathon beat the previous world record of 4,445 set in January in Chile.
The Chinese didn’t kiss until the practice was introduced by Westerners, and they’re still not very keen on it.
You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.
Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) as those that are released when you engage in intense exercise such as running a marathon or skydiving. This causes your heart to beat faster and your breathing to become deep and irregular.
Our brains have special neurons that help us find each others lips in the dark
The science of kissing is called philematology.
There are many strange laws regarding kissing that are still on the books. In Indiana, it is illegal for a man with a moustache to “habitually kiss human beings”. And in Hartford, CT, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on a Sunday.
In Naples, Italy in the 16th century, kissing was an offence that carried the death penalty.
Onur Guentuerkuen of Ruhr-University Bochum in Bochum, Germany, studied hundreds of couples kissing.
In his study, he found that two-thirds of people turn their heads to the right when kissing.
On Valentine’s Day 2004, an Italian couple made their way into the record books with a 31-hour 18-minute Valentine kiss. The couple beat the previous record by 18 minutes and 33 seconds, however, the man had to receive oxygen afterwards.
I always knew there was a special relationship between gay boys and fat girls. Gay guys have fat fag hags. I have a theory as to why. It is a three part theory:
1. Gay boys like to look good, and next to their fag hag they normally good.
2. Gay boys, like fat girls, have developed a loud/sarcastic sense of humor as a self defense mechanism.
3. They both want to chat about boys and not fear the person they are talking to is going to steal the boy they like.
But a new movie is taking that relationship to the next level, its about a gay boy finding his inner fat girl. Check out the trailer for “Fat Girls”:
Apparently Lance Bass was like the best boyfriend ever. This is a cute/funny little clip. He was on the Tyra show with former girlfriend and Boy Meets World star Topanga (I don’t want to spell her real name wrong). Its about if they did or didn’t have sex.
NOTE: If someone could tell me how to make a cut post, so I could put some of the text behind a cut it would be appreciated. This post is super long, but I am not tech savy enough and I am too tired to look it up.
So it is national coming out day, or technically yesterday was, but I haven’t gone to bed yet. I figured I would hook up some links and videos, and share my story. Since this is officially the first year that I would consider myself fully ‘out’. First, this is an adorable post from QueerSighted it is titled “I’m Out and it’s My Mother’s Fault” (Cute Story)
Second the HRC has an informative video that kind of runs through the history of National Coming Out Day and some of their work. The video is on youtube and viewers were encouraged to send in video responses. Check It OUT. I thought many of the responses were incredibly touching and inspiring. It is reassuring to know that more and more resources are out there for teenagers. I remember going with Alex and Christina all the way to Doylestown for some sort of gay youth meeting thing and thinking how reassuring it was to see other teenagers in the same spot. This was the response video that most struck me:
Finally, here is my “coming out” story, as cliché as that is. I hear a lot of coming out stories and have read books and seen movies, but for me it was different. I have known for a long time I was gay, I have been in a long term relationship, and have carried out my life in a very open manner. Everyone assumes I am “out” because I am loud and open in most situations, but there was one place where I wasn’t out until recently, my house. Some of you know the story, but I figured I would share it anyway (warning it is long and rambling as it is almost 2 am)…read the story behind the cut
I love the Men’s Health site. While most of the things I have come across are targeted at men about women, I think they still funny/worthwhile. They have a section of ask the Sex Professor (here) and a section about asking Jimmy The Bartender (here), both provide quality answers to readers questions. But what makes reading the questions so enjoyable is sometimes the readers ask the weirdest/grossest/funniest/or most obvious questions. The experts take them in stride and provide helpful, well phrased answers. On the actual site the Sex Expert answers hundreds of questions about every range of sexuality, including positions, techniques, history, science, and relationship advice. Jimmy The Bartender gives out general life advice, mainly related to relationships but also about friendship, parenting, and dealing with co workers. He gives surprisingly good answers and deals with some serious problems like alcoholism and death. To give you a sampling, I have listed a question with a funny/obvious answer, a weird question, a TMI question, a medicine question and a good to know anatomical question. To give you a heads up, this artice is for adults. They talk about naughty bits.
Q: My girlfriend knows that I bought her an engagement ring, and ever since, she’s been acting bitchy. Is she going to say no?
Jimmy The Bartender® Answers:
Other night, taking the subway home, I’m waiting on the platform. I’m waiting, and waiting. Half an hour, then 40 minutes, and I think, I could’ve walked home by this time. Was I annoyed? Yes. But I also knew that it was a mistake to leave, because I knew it was going to come eventually, and I really wanted to ride that train. I think your girlfriend feels the same way. Women are gentle creatures. I think if she were going to say no, she would’ve left by now to spare you some embarrassment. My guess is that she’s just antsy. She wants you to pull up, open the doors, and invite her along for a great ride.
Q: Why do wet dreams stop? How can I get them back?Ask the Sex Professor Answers:
Although wet dreams are most common during puberty, for some they continue into adulthood. Dry spells (times of little or no masturbation or sex) can result in wet dreams, so you may need to choose between sleeping and waking orgasms. Wet dreams can also be triggered by friction or a full bladder. If you don’t mind risking a midnight bathroom run, try drinking water before bed to see if your dreams become hyperrealistic. Q: Ever since my girlfriend started taking birth-control pills, she seems to want sex less often. Are they related?
Jimmy The Bartender® Answers:
Unfortunately, yes. The estrogen contained in most birth-control pills may lower levels of free testosterone, which is associated with libido. Others suggest that the blame may be misplaced, as sexual frequency tends to decline in long-term relationships anyway, Pill or no Pill. Desire and interest may also be influenced by stress, fatigue, depression, medications, and relationship issues. So, if she’s willing, attack the problem on several fronts. Ask about lower-estrogen pills, hit the gym, and consider therapy appointments with either a psychologist or a sex therapist. Q: I’m hung like a blimp. Even jumbo condoms sometimes break. How can I have safer sex if the condoms I’ve tried don’t work?
Jimmy The Bartender® Answers:
Poor guy. Sometimes a kielbasa can be a curse. Condoms like Lifestyles XL, Trojan Magnum, and Durex XXL give most men the breathing room they need; applying a water- or silicone-based lubricant to the outside (making sure to reapply during particularly long or vigorous bouts of sex) can further reduce friction and breakage risk. If that doesn’t work, a more tailored option is TheyFit condoms, which come in 55 sizes. Download a Fit Kit fromwww.condomania.com. Q: My girlfriend has extremely hot friends, and we’re going on a beach trip. I’m worried about getting an erection. Is there anything I can do to control it?
Ask the Sex Professor Answers:
It’s best to have a multipronged approach: baggy swim trunks, dips in cool water, Jedi mind tricks (think about work), and a preregistered excuse: Tell your girlfriend you’re worried about driftwood because you can’t stop thinking about how hot she looks in a swimsuit. Q: My girlfriend says her breasts are too big to have sensitive nipples. Can this be true?
Ask the Sex Professor Answers:
Sure. Larger breasts (C or D cups) are generally less sensitive than smaller ones. It’s thought that there’s some nerve-fiber damage associated with stretched skin and connective tissue. But don’t despair. Though the nipple and areola–which many men focus on–are low on sensitivity, the top of the breast is highly sensitive. Explore her northern hemispheres or, if she’s game, apply flavored, menthol-infused, sensitivity-boosting Bosom Buddy (pureromance.com) to her nipples and areolas. But if she’s not aroused by breast play, move on. You have an entire body to savor.
This is a list of 20 tips to the perfect date, they are geared at the first date. I would think almost all of them are common sense, but what I am gathering about men is that they know little to nothing. Sorry boys. But boys want sex and girls want sex with a good relationship so you are looking for different things on a first date. Here you go:
By: Samantha Daniels (LINK)
1. It’s okay to suggest a drink instead of dinner for a first date. She dreads a boring four-course ordeal, too.
2. Call her by early evening on Monday to confirm a Tuesday get-together. (Weekends aren’t for first dates.)
3. Leave your home and work numbers. No home number and she’ll assume you have a wife or girlfriend.
4. If you want to keep the plans a surprise, at least clue her in as to what to wear. You do not want an overdressed, overstressed woman navigating the Talladega pits in high heels
5. Yes, she’ll notice if the date location you’ve chosen is conveniently around the block from your place.
6. Don’t assume that just because you’re out with a beautiful woman, she knows how pretty she looks — she wants to hear it from you.
7. Ask if she’s too cold or too warm, and if changing the temperature is in your power, fix it.
8. Men judge women according to whether they can picture having sex with them; women judge men by whether they can imagine kissing them. White teeth, fresh breath, and unchapped lips make her more apt to pucker up.
9. Do not ask her, “So, what kind of music do you like?” The last 25 guys asked that. Be original.
10. She loves when you insist on ordering dessert. Sharing = extra sexy.
11. Tip well: Grab the check, mentally divide the bill by 10, double that number, and throw down the tip. Do it quickly but casually. Believe me, she’ll be watching.
12. If she touches your arm, she’s interested; if she touches your leg, she’s interested tonight.
13. When in doubt, hold her hand.
14. Very small protective gestures go a long way and show her you’re a gentleman: Offer your arm as she’s stepping from a curb, direct her away from shards of broken glass aka Say Anything. She’ll notice if you wait until she’s safely in her car or house before you leave. Wait the extra 90 seconds, and next time you might be going in with her.
15. She expects you to know her eye color after the first date.
16. Women need momentum — without it, they lose interest or wonder if you have. Momentum = a minimum of one date a week, plus a couple of phone calls in between.
17. She knows that when you invite her over for a homemade meal or to watch a movie, it’s code for “tonight is hook-up night.” Don’t play this card any earlier than date three.
18. A Friday or Saturday night is required by date four. Otherwise, she’ll wonder who else you’re seeing.
19. Rule of Groping: If anything happens that couldn’t be shown on prime-time TV, call her the next day. Otherwise, she’ll feel cheap and used.
20. Don’t say, “I’ll call you,” if you have no intention to. She’d prefer that you say nothing at all.
Good luck in life and love. The bold ones are the ones that would critical on a date with me.
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