For the Bi Guys

NYC-based writer/director/actor Greg Scarnici’s rap exposes the bisexual lifestyle. He is a pretty funny guy and does some wicked Amy Winehouse, Britney, and Madonna spoofs. Check out his videos here.

“Ain’t No Other Weatherman”

For anyone who finds Christina Aguilera as difficult to understand as me.  I found this when I googled lyrics for a song I heard on the radio today.  It’s funny/cute.

Video interpretation of Christina Aguilera’s “Ain’t No Other Man”

UR so Gay

Cosmo Confessions

Like almost every girl in America, I find myself unable to resist the terrible “confessions” and “bloopers” sections of magazines like Cosmo. Usually they involve being caught in the bedroom by parents, a missing article of clothing in public, awkward sexual moments, or just plan bad luck. But I can across one tonight I wanted to share:

“I’m a professional nanny who works for a family with two kids. One night, the parents were out late at an event. I put the kids to bed and went downstairs to watch television. The material on my thong was really itchy, and it finally got to the point where I couldn’t stop scratching down there. I was so grateful when the parents got home because I could go to my place and change. The next day when I got to work, the mother handed me anti-itch cream and told me I should see a doctor. She informed me that they had a nanny cam and had seen me itching all night long. I tried to explain but could barely get out the words. I was so humiliated.” -Tracy, 26

Cosmo.com’s Confessions

Definitely, Maybe a Pedophile

This is an unaired Soup skit about Definitely, Maybe.  The movie is adorable, sweet, funny, and a great chick flick.  I rushed out to see it on Valentines day.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a spoof.  Particularlly a wildly inappropriate one.   Check it out!

F**K Planet Earth

As many of you know, I got the Planet Earth series for Valentine’s Day because it is awesome.  This video is making the rounds on the internet right now.  It is an immature, profanity laced spoof of scenes from the breath taking documentary.  I warn you not to click unless you are feeling distinctly like a 12 year old boy.  I thought it was cute/funny, but that could just be because I feel a little punchy after a long day.

Son of Rambow

Had to share this gem with you, Son of Rambow.  We got the trailer for it on Rambo and I think it looks adorable/funny.

Loveline: The Big Break Up Edition

Being dumped can be terrible. Dumping someone can be terrible. While neither party is happy during the dumping, in the long run both may be happier. Well there is an awesome website “So You’ve Been Dumped“

It covers all the important bases of dumping, like what books to read or music to listen to. It has humor and advice. It has good break lines (some good in the true sense, but mostly good in the funny sense).  For example, the site suggests Billie Holiday’s -“Good Morning Heartache ” as a post break up song. I would like to share my suggestion, Ani Difranco’s “untouchable face”.  One of the books it suggests is Exorcising Your Ex – Elizabeth Kuster . My suggestion is It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken – Greg and Amiira Behrendt.

Harsh Break Up Lines:

“Dating you is killing who I am.”

“I have lost all romantic feelings for you completely, and I desire no future relationship with you.”

“She’s exactly like you used to be – before you became a bitch.”

“I think you love me more than I love you.”

“The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you.”

“I don’t think you have it in you to be a good mother. When I thought about marrying you, I only thought about whether you’d make a good wife…I didn’t think about whether you’d make a good mother too.”

“Really, it’s not you, I’m just going through a selfish phase…”

“I think we have three choices: 1) stay together, 2) take a break, or 3) break up entirely, and I want 2 or 3.”

Nicole’s Top Five Tips for Breaking Up

1.  Tell your mutual friends what you are thinking, make them swear to secrecy, and then give it a little time, at least one of them will give him/her a heads up.  Maybe they will dump you first, or at least they won’t look like a deer in the headlights.

2.  DO NOT START DATING ANYONE ELSE until it is completely over, if you have already started dating someone else then LIE

3.  Cry before they do.

4.  If you do it close to a holiday, you are a jerk and yes you still have to get a present.

5. His/Her friends, relatives, and coworkers are off limits for a time period equal to or greater than the duration of your relationship (exception-when your ex gets engaged/married)

Baby Mamma Movie

This movie looks awesome. A movie with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler of SNL fame a solid premise and cute music can’t go wrong.  If/When the trailer breaks, check it out at http://www.babymamamovie.net/.

New Law School Rankings

Breaking News: According to a new law school ranking system, Temple University Beasley School of Law just surpassed University of Pennsylvania and Harvard.

(source: a survey of Nicole and Christina and careful examination of the selectivity of the admissions process)

So my friend, lets call him “Alex”, got into law school. Super early and with a scholarship, so basically they really really want him. They get a ton of applications (Admission for the Fall 2007 entering class was highly competitive, with 4,856 applicants for an entering class of 314.)

It is a double edged sword though. I am happy for him achieving his goal, and of course getting into such a fantastic school (I also go to Temple). But at the same time it is the end of his soul and now the endless slew of lawyer jokes begin. Unfortunately I don’t know any good lawyer jokes so here are a few cheesy ones from the internet.

Q. What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start!

Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.

Q. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.

Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.