Let’s talk about SEX

 

I’m in a quote-y mood tonight. So here are a bunch of quotes about sex.

“I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.” (Scott Roeben)

“Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn’t had enough gratuitous sex.” (Geoff Spear)

“During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.” (Richard Lewis)

“There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.” (Norman Mailer)

“There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.” (Lewis Grizzard)

“I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.” (Anonymous)

“Just saying ‘no’ prevents teenage pregnancy the way ‘Have a nice day’cures chronic depression.” (Faye Wattleton)

“Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that’s not the reason we’re doing it.” (Richard Feynman)

Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery.  ~Hart Crane

“Sex always has consequences. When Hitler’s mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.” (George Carlin)

“It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
Joan Rivers

“My girlfiend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said, ‘that’s a big word for a girl of nine’.”
Emo Philips.

“Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”
Steve Martin

“My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects.”
Les Dawson

“When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better.”
Mae West.

For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun.  Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian.  ~Mabel Maney

Guess Who’s Gay?

Which Harry Potter character has a queer little past? (No it is not Harry, much to the dismay of millions of old pervs, and to the relief of millions of young girls). It is Dumbledore! For those of you who haven’t read the books, or could keep awake during the movies, he is the really old guy who runs the school. Dumbledore is portrayed currently in the movies by Michael Gambon (he was previously portrayed by Richard Harris who died).

I have personally always believe Ian McKellen would be a better match for the role. And now that we know Dumbledore is a butt pirate (no offense, to the gays or to pirates), it makes even more sense. I looked it up and apparently tons of people agree he would have made a great Dumbledore.

In case you were wondering how I know Dumbledore is a homo, the author JK Rowling announced it the other day.  You can read the article below to check out, how it “came out”.

Here is the article

Eugenics is apparently making a comeback

I love me some DNA, but I am not loving James Watson right now. The Nobel winning biologist most famous for his part in the discovery of DNA structure has hit some nerves across the country with his racist remarks.

LONDON, England (CNN) — Nobel laureate biologist James Watson was suspended Friday from his longtime post at a research laboratory and canceled his planned British book tour after controversial comments that black people are not as intelligent as white people. Watson, 79, an American who won the 1962 Nobel prize for his role in discovering the double-helix structure of DNA, apologized Thursday for his remarks — but not before London’s Science Museum canceled his talk there, planned for Friday evening.

The controversy began with an October 14 interview Watson gave to the Sunday Times, which quoted him saying he was “inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa” because “all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours, whereas all the testing says not really.” Watson also asserted there was no reason to believe different races separated by geography should have evolved identically, and he said that while he hoped everyone was equal, “people who have to deal with black employees find this is not true.” The biologist apologized “unreservedly” Thursday for his comments and said he was “mortified” by the words attributed to him.

Watson is no stranger to controversy; he has a history of saying offensive and often scientifically inaccurate statements:

In 1997, Britain’s Sunday Telegraph quoted Watson as saying that if a gene for homosexuality were isolated, women who find that their unborn child has the gene should be allowed to have an abortion. During a lecture tour in 2000, he suggested there might be links between skin color and sexual prowess and between a person’s weight and their level of ambition. And in a British TV documentary that aired in 2003, Watson suggested that stupidity was a genetic disease that should be treated.

I have a theory about his statements. My theory is that the old man in a racist homophobe who feels superior to most people and is now senile enough to say what he thinks in public. I mean theory in the scientific way, like the theory of evolution.

How Nobel of You, Mr. Gore

 

Al Gore, the former Vice President, and the U.N.’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change have won the Nobel Peace Prize.

In a statement, Gore said he was “deeply honored,” adding that “the climate crisis is not a political issue, it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity.”

The former vice president said he would donate his half of the $1.5 million prize to the Alliance for Climate Protection, a U.S. organization he founded that aims to persuade people to cut emissions and reduce global warming.

Most of us remember Gore as the stiff counter part to the charming Bill Clinton.  He ran against George Bush and won the popular vote, but lost the electoral college.  Many people think the election was stolen from him (because of some voter issues in Florida).  I think many of the votes he got were people voting for him just to vote along their party lines and/or because he was associated with Bill Clinton.  He didn’t really stand out for anything himself.  He had  a note worthy lack of passion about anything. 

After the election he decided to dedicate himself to a cause he championed his whole career, global warming.  All of a sudden he appeared alive, passionate, and like a true leader.  It begs the question where was this Al Gore during the 2000 election?  Maybe there would be no war, no dead soliders, no giant deficit, and no debate over whether innocent children deserve health care.  Maybe scientiests could do live saving research and unlock the potential of stem cells.  Maybe the world would be a better place.  The one thing we know would be different, our president would actually care about global warming.

As to him running for president.  I don’t think he will or that he should.  At this point that would make him a liar.  I also think running against Hillary Clinton would create a chasm in the party.  Can you say Vice President??? (Just an idea)

National Coming Out Day

NOTE: If someone could tell me how to make a cut post, so I could put some of the text behind a cut it would be appreciated. This post is super long, but I am not tech savy enough and I am too tired to look it up.

So it is national coming out day, or technically yesterday was, but I haven’t gone to bed yet. I figured I would hook up some links and videos, and share my story. Since this is officially the first year that I would consider myself fully ‘out’. First, this is an adorable post from QueerSighted it is titled “I’m Out and it’s My Mother’s Fault” (Cute Story)

Second the HRC has an informative video that kind of runs through the history of National Coming Out Day and some of their work. The video is on youtube and viewers were encouraged to send in video responses. Check It OUT. I thought many of the responses were incredibly touching and inspiring. It is reassuring to know that more and more resources are out there for teenagers. I remember going with Alex and Christina all the way to Doylestown for some sort of gay youth meeting thing and thinking how reassuring it was to see other teenagers in the same spot. This was the response video that most struck me:

Finally, here is my “coming out” story, as cliché as that is. I hear a lot of coming out stories and have read books and seen movies, but for me it was different. I have known for a long time I was gay, I have been in a long term relationship, and have carried out my life in a very open manner. Everyone assumes I am “out” because I am loud and open in most situations, but there was one place where I wasn’t out until recently, my house. Some of you know the story, but I figured I would share it anyway (warning it is long and rambling as it is almost 2 am)…read the story behind the cut

First the Gays, now the Jews?

Ann Coulter, the Anti-Christ

WASHINGTON (CNN) – Conservative commentator and best-selling author Ann Coulter may find herself in the midst of a controversy for comments Monday suggesting America would be better if everyone was Christian.

When CNBC host Donny Deutsch responded, “It would be better if we were all Christian?” Coulter said “Yeah.”

Deutsch, himself Jewish, continued to press Coulter on her remarks, asking, “We should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians then?”

“Yeah,” Coulter responded, adding “Well, it’s a lot easier. It’s kind of a fast track.”

“You can’t possibly believe that,” Deutsch responded. “You can’t possibly. You’re too educated.”

Later in the interview Deutsch asked Coulter if she doesn’t want any Jews in the world, Coulter responded, “No, we think — we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.”

“Wow, you didn’t really say that, did you,” Deutsch said. Deutsch said he was personally offended. Deutsch continued to call Coulter’s comments anti-semetic.

“No. I’m sorry. It is not intended to be,” she said. “I don’t think you should take it that way, but that is what Christians consider themselves: perfected Jews. We believe the Old Testament. As you know from the Old Testament, God was constantly getting fed up with humans for not being able to live up to all the laws. What Christians believe — this is just a statement of what the New Testament is — is that that’s why Christ came and died for our sins. Christians believe the Old Testament. You don’t believe our testament.”

Sometimes being controversial just to be controversial blows up in your face. Earlier this year she drew fierce criticism from both sides of the aisle after calling Edwards a faggot. Now she is in hot water over these anti-semetic remarks. But the funny thing is I don’t believe she has any problems with gays or with Jews, she is just really really needy.

I’m what I’d like to call a rough around the edges Christian, I believe somethings and I don’t believe others.  I have my balance between faith and doubt.  I don’t ascribe to all of the church’s rules, it would be hard to without hating myself.  Some would say that makes me a supermarket Christian (I pick and choose what to buy), but I think it makes me realistic.  Whether God or evolution, I had no say in being gay and as such I don’t expect to be punished for it.  And while I am in no way a good representative of Christians in general, I do think I can speak for a lot of Christians and say I don’t view Christians as “Perfected Jews”.  I don’t view any people as perfected anythings.

Ann Coulter you are Tool Bag of the Day (she gets this title several times a year in my opinion)

Sex Tips

I got the message. My two previous sex posts (homemade porn tips, and tips from porn for good girls) were two of my most popular posts ever.

You want sex. Nay, you need sex. Well always looking to please my readers, who are apparently always looking to please someone in their life, I’ve decided to post a more extensive sex tip article. Today I am taking notes from bible of sex tips, Cosmo. Cosmo split the tips into categories: Get Him Riled Up, Feisty Foreplay, Getting it On, His Down There Domain, and Kink it Up. They are tips men sent in for women. Now from the multitude of tips found within their website, I’ve tried to pick what I found the best.

This selection was based on four factors:

1. Did I feel it was translatable to my gay and lesbian audience well? (I would never forget you kids)
2. Would I personally find the item sexy or enjoyable?
3. Did it make sense?
4. Was it clean enough that I wouldn’t feel bad if kids stumbled on here, but dirty enough to entice my adult readers?

Before you continue, these are tips for adults. For my more adventurous adult readers check out the actual site (Cosmo Article) they have the really juicy tips, with the specifics of what to put where and how to…..

Get Him Riled Up (or Her)

“When I lean in to kiss you, hold the back of my head gently in your hand. It’s tender yet sexy.” – Donny, 34

“The night after I got a big promotion my girlfriend said she was going to give me only oral sex all night.” –Ken, 32.

“If we’re somewhere semi-public and can’t go at each other, press your hips against mine.” –Henry, 25

Feisty Foreplay

“Do what my first girl did: Moan my name while I pleasure you.” –Eddie, 28.

“My current girlfriend treated me to a ‘bed dance’: she had me lie on my back while she slowly rubbed herself along my chest, stomach…” –Arlo, 27

“My girl pretended not to want to kiss me. I had to use my tongue to pry her mouth open passionately.” –Ron, 25

Getting It on

(Most of the tips were too graphic, I picked two tame ones)

“Tell me to get undressed but to keep my tie on. Pull on it to bring me closer to you.” –Ted, 31.

“When you’re near the point of no return, whisper four letter words into my ears –the really dirty ones.” –Fred, 23.

Down There Domain

(too graphic and really only applicable to men)

Kink It Up

“My fiancé will blindfold me and rub her body across my face. I can only use my mouth and tongue to identify what I’m feeling” –Carter, 29.

“One night, my girlfriend stopped the action and pointed to the camera she’d set up in the corner.” –Justine, 21

“My ex would me at local dive bars and pull me into the restroom for raunchy, against-the wall sex.” –Max 21.

“Treat your guy to sex under water. With your bodies feeling so weightless…” –Mark, 29

“Morning sex please” –Charlie, 26

“While we’re driving alone on a back road, ask me to pull over and then jump into my lap. You’ll be fulfilling my teenage fantasy of getting busy in my care.” –Jason, 34.