I thought what better way to get through hump day, than a little kissing trivia. Enjoy!
The average person will spend an estimated 20,160 min kissing in their lifetime.
Ancient Egyptians never kissed with their mouths. Instead they kissed with their noses.
Kissing helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva helps clean out your mouth
On Valentine’s Day 2004, 5,122 Philippine coupes gathered together at midnight and locked lips. This kissathon beat the previous world record of 4,445 set in January in Chile.
The Chinese didn’t kiss until the practice was introduced by Westerners, and they’re still not very keen on it.
You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.
Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) as those that are released when you engage in intense exercise such as running a marathon or skydiving. This causes your heart to beat faster and your breathing to become deep and irregular.
Our brains have special neurons that help us find each others lips in the dark
The science of kissing is called philematology.
There are many strange laws regarding kissing that are still on the books. In Indiana, it is illegal for a man with a moustache to “habitually kiss human beings”. And in Hartford, CT, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on a Sunday.
In Naples, Italy in the 16th century, kissing was an offence that carried the death penalty.
Onur Guentuerkuen of Ruhr-University Bochum in Bochum, Germany, studied hundreds of couples kissing.
In his study, he found that two-thirds of people turn their heads to the right when kissing.
On Valentine’s Day 2004, an Italian couple made their way into the record books with a 31-hour 18-minute Valentine kiss. The couple beat the previous record by 18 minutes and 33 seconds, however, the man had to receive oxygen afterwards.
Apparently Lance Bass was like the best boyfriend ever. This is a cute/funny little clip. He was on the Tyra show with former girlfriend and Boy Meets World star Topanga (I don’t want to spell her real name wrong). Its about if they did or didn’t have sex.
For those of you familiar with about.com they have “how to” and Q&A on pretty much every topic in the world. They have a particularly elaborate “Lesbian Life” section. I highly recommend checking it out: http://lesbianlife.about.com/.
But what are always the funniest articles are the sexual “how to” articles, they range from normal girl-girl sexing, to bring toys into the bedroom, to all out fisting (eek!). But what I was looking for was just a list of tips, since I have posted lots of straight sex tips. Figured it was about time to rep the lezzies. What I found was a list of first time girl sexing tips. I think it is funny how predictable women are. The tips relate to typical women things like comfort, communication, and emotional well being. But they do make sense and I agree with the tips, although I would have added “keep it simple” and “think about what you like”.
Here are the about.com top ten tips (lesbians):
1. Get to know your own body.
2. Go sober.
3. Go Safe.
4. Fantasize.
5. Leave the toys in the drawer.
6. Relax.
7. Communicate.
8. Have realistic expectations.
To contrast I decided to look up tips for gay man first time sex. To my shock aside from references in coming out articles, there was a general lack of gay male first time sex articles. (Although there was an abundance of first time articles about fisting, kink, and threesomes). I don’t believe that all gay men are hoes, I personally know the world’s oldest gay virgin, and so I decided the nice gay boys need a list of their own.
So here are my tips for your first time (gay guys):
Tell the other person it is your first time
Bring SEVERAL condoms, you never know what is gonna happen
DO NOT try to imitate porn
Try to relax (I suggest thinking about what’s on tv if you start to get nervous)
If you’re feeling unsure about it, wait, there will always be willing and able guys out there
Turn the lights out!
If you have crusty feet, keep your socks on
Do not assume he loves you or will even call you again if you haven’t been dating for a while
Be willing to laugh (not at the other person) if something doesn’t work. Sex is funny, it’s part of life.
Have fun, and don’t forget to tell your fag hag the details!
I’m in a quote-y mood tonight. So here are a bunch of quotes about sex.
“I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.” (Scott Roeben)
“Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn’t had enough gratuitous sex.” (Geoff Spear)
“During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.” (Richard Lewis)
“There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.” (Norman Mailer)
“There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.” (Lewis Grizzard)
“I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.” (Anonymous)
“Just saying ‘no’ prevents teenage pregnancy the way ‘Have a nice day’cures chronic depression.” (Faye Wattleton)
“Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that’s not the reason we’re doing it.” (Richard Feynman)
Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery. ~Hart Crane
“Sex always has consequences. When Hitler’s mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.” (George Carlin)
“It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.” Joan Rivers
“My girlfiend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said, ‘that’s a big word for a girl of nine’.” Emo Philips.
“Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.” Steve Martin
“My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects.” Les Dawson
“When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better.” Mae West.
For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun. Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian. ~Mabel Maney
This is related to the article I posted earlier this week about contraceptives in a Portland middle school.
Some parents are in a huff, that a Maine Middle School will now offer prescription contraceptives. While I think it is to a large degree unnecessary at a middle school, it is not necessarily a bad idea. If it stops one kid from getting pregnant it is worth this whole controversy. And when are parents going to get it, access to contraceptives does not make kids have sex.
The New York Times ran a good article on the situation.
I came across a list of 50 things women wished men knew (LINK). These are the ones I personally find true. I love how some are incredibly stereotypical of women and some I think men would have no clue about. But in both situations I think they generally hold true. Obviously not all women are as insecure as some of the list would suggest, but honestly a lot of us are.
As always I think many of the “things women wish men knew” is translatable to my gay and lesbian readers. For lesbians you would think both know everything on the list and would be careful not to hurt each others feelings as much as straight couples, or that the communication would be somehow better. But I can tell you first hand that I have done things counter to the list which have gotten me in trouble, and Christina has also not taken the extra second to think where I might be coming from before she says something. For gay men, you are practically women anyway, just kidding, sorta. But my gay boys out there, you know you can be sensitive about looks and insecure about if your partner is still into you too.
1. Saying “I love you” immediately before, during, or following sex doesn’t count.
5. I’m convinced I’m pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
9. I’m terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
13. I’m scared of losing my independence.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I’m not. (See directly above.)
20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
33. You’re sexy when you’re shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you–and for you to recognize this.
44. I like porn.
45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
47. It’s cheating as soon as you’re doing something with her that you wouldn’t want me to see, hear, read…
48. For the record: I’d rather you break up with me than cheat.
I got this article from a seedy website. I would link to it, but there are pretty much naked people all over and I don’t want to advertise porn. But I think it actually has some valuable advice for those trying to stage a hook up with their best friends. The advice holds somewhat true for straight and lesbian couples as well, but as the article was target for gay men, I left in the pronouns.
There’s something about best friends. You love them, you share everything with them, but you don’t really want to have hot gay sex. Except maybe once. We’re only human. We’re not made of stone. Emotions can have a habit of over-spilling. And this is one occasion when it’s arguable great first time sex with a ‘new’ partner can happen while quite drunk.
These are the rules:
1. Right now, never mind tomorrow morning or earlier this evening, do you both want to have sex? Or is it just you? Or is it just him? If either of the latter two options applies, stick to the beers until neither of you is any longer capable – You can just drool on to each other about love, like straight friends. If, on the other hand, you really are both up for it, then it could be time for some fun.
2. Do you or does he have a boyfriend? To whom are you or he committed? If there is a one-on-one boyfriend in the background, bear in mind that if you do have sex now you won’t be seeing each other again for about six months – and then it will be boyfriend-chaperoned and distinctly frosty.
3. Do either of you really want a relationship with the other person – and being best friends has been the second best alternative to that? If so, it could be sex will shake it out of your system, or it could be Fatal Attraction time. Up to you.
4. Are you very good at keeping sex and love conceptually separate? Sex and friendship can coexist perfectly well, but if you associate sex with intimate love and commitment you are heading for trouble.
5. Are you going to learn something about your best friend you’d rather you didn’t know? In terms of ‘kink’ and performative preferences, it could be best to have lots of talk about sex beforehand. Like you haven’t.
6. To sum up: will sex be great fun and a way of sharing friendship and bonding, or is it a very big deal? If the latter, press ‘play’ on the next DVD.
7. And finally: Don’t fondle your friend in the morning. That was last night; this is now.
Keep in mind hooking up with your best friend, can be the start of the best relationship of your life or the end of one of the best relationships in your life. But in most cases it will fall in between. Good luck in life and love.
I got the message. My two previous sex posts (homemade porn tips, and tips from porn for good girls) were two of my most popular posts ever.
You want sex. Nay, you need sex. Well always looking to please my readers, who are apparently always looking to please someone in their life, I’ve decided to post a more extensive sex tip article. Today I am taking notes from bible of sex tips, Cosmo. Cosmo split the tips into categories: Get Him Riled Up, Feisty Foreplay, Getting it On, His Down There Domain, and Kink it Up. They are tips men sent in for women. Now from the multitude of tips found within their website, I’ve tried to pick what I found the best.
This selection was based on four factors:
Did I feel it was translatable to my gay and lesbian audience well? (I would never forget you kids)
Would I personally find the item sexy or enjoyable?
Did it make sense?
Was it clean enough that I wouldn’t feel bad if kids stumbled on here, but dirty enough to entice my adult readers?
Before you continue, these are tips for adults. For my more adventurous adult readers check out the actual site (Cosmo Article) they have the really juicy tips, with the specifics of what to put where and how to…..
Get Him Riled Up (or Her)
“When I lean in to kiss you, hold the back of my head gently in your hand. It’s tender yet sexy.” – Donny, 34
“The night after I got a big promotion my girlfriend said she was going to give me only oral sex all night.” –Ken, 32.
“If we’re somewhere semi-public and can’t go at each other, press your hips against mine.” –Henry, 25
Feisty Foreplay
“Do what my first girl did: Moan my name while I pleasure you.” –Eddie, 28.
“My current girlfriend treated me to a ‘bed dance’: she had me lie on my back while she slowly rubbed herself along my chest, stomach…” –Arlo, 27
“My girl pretended not to want to kiss me. I had to use my tongue to pry her mouth open passionately.” –Ron, 25
Getting It on
(Most of the tips were too graphic, I picked two tame ones)
“Tell me to get undressed but to keep my tie on. Pull on it to bring me closer to you.” –Ted, 31.
“When you’re near the point of no return, whisper four letter words into my ears –the really dirty ones.” –Fred, 23.
Down There Domain
(too graphic and really only applicable to men)
Kink It Up
“My fiancé will blindfold me and rub her body across my face. I can only use my mouth and tongue to identify what I’m feeling” –Carter, 29.
“One night, my girlfriend stopped the action and pointed to the camera she’d set up in the corner.” –Justine, 21
“My ex would me at local dive bars and pull me into the restroom for raunchy, against-the wall sex.” –Max 21.
“Treat your guy to sex under water. With your bodies feeling so weightless…” –Mark, 29
“Morning sex please” –Charlie, 26
“While we’re driving alone on a back road, ask me to pull over and then jump into my lap. You’ll be fulfilling my teenage fantasy of getting busy in my care.” –Jason, 34.
So the rumor mill was working double yesterday. Supposedly there is an Eva Longoria and Tony Parker sex tape making the rounds. Sexperts are predicting if the tape is authentic it will be the biggest tape since “One Night in Paris”. I may not a sexpert yet, but I know porn. It doesn’t take a genius to tell you that if two hot celebrities are doing it on camera it is going to sell like hotcakes. But now I want to talk about the more serious issue at hand. Homemade porn.
I think making a porn with your partner (a loving, trustable person hopefully whom you have been with for a long time) can be an okay idea. Some people say “no, it’s always a bad idea” but I think in certain situations it can good way to keep your sex life fresh. That said, there needs to be precautions taken that your video never shows up on the web. Because no matter how much you think no one would want to see your imperfect non famous naked ass, someone would watch it. So either only view it on the camera or be prepared to destroy it at the first sign of problems in your relationship. Another more tech way I suggest to protect delicate files is to password protect it, but make sure you only know half the password, and the other person knows half.
Here are some homemade sex tape tips I found:
Shave and trim before shooting
Cover up leg marks with stockings
Use makeup, but not stage/film quantities
Set the mood while you prepare yourself, feelings come out in photos
Use sex videos and pictures to mimic and act out for inspiration
When solo, use remote controls, self timers, and editing
Find a personal balance between focusing on the camera and focusing on the act
Make full use of available props, toys, and costumes
If the exhibitionist inside starts clawing their way out, make sure you’re down with 2257
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