Let’s talk about SEX

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I’m in a quote-y mood tonight. So here are a bunch of quotes about sex.

“I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.” (Scott Roeben)

“Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn’t had enough gratuitous sex.” (Geoff Spear)

“During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.” (Richard Lewis)

“There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.” (Norman Mailer)

“There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.” (Lewis Grizzard)

“I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.” (Anonymous)

“Just saying ‘no’ prevents teenage pregnancy the way ‘Have a nice day’cures chronic depression.” (Faye Wattleton)

“Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that’s not the reason we’re doing it.” (Richard Feynman)

Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery.  ~Hart Crane

“Sex always has consequences. When Hitler’s mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.” (George Carlin)

“It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
Joan Rivers

“My girlfiend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said, ‘that’s a big word for a girl of nine’.”
Emo Philips.

“Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”
Steve Martin

“My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects.”
Les Dawson

“When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better.”
Mae West.

For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun.  Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian.  ~Mabel Maney

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