Too bad he is a raging homo!

October 24, 2007

Apparently Lance Bass was like the best boyfriend ever. This is a cute/funny little clip. He was on the Tyra show with former girlfriend and Boy Meets World star Topanga (I don’t want to spell her real name wrong). Its about if they did or didn’t have sex.

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Gay SEX tips

October 24, 2007


For those of you familiar with about.com they have “how to” and Q&A on pretty much every topic in the world. They have a particularly elaborate “Lesbian Life” section. I highly recommend checking it out: http://lesbianlife.about.com/.

There are articles on all sorts of topics including: Top Lesbian Halloween Costumes, Planning Lesbian Weddings, and Good Fall Dates

But what are always the funniest articles are the sexual “how to” articles, they range from normal girl-girl sexing, to bring toys into the bedroom, to all out fisting (eek!). But what I was looking for was just a list of tips, since I have posted lots of straight sex tips. Figured it was about time to rep the lezzies. What I found was a list of first time girl sexing tips. I think it is funny how predictable women are. The tips relate to typical women things like comfort, communication, and emotional well being. But they do make sense and I agree with the tips, although I would have added “keep it simple” and “think about what you like”.

Here are the about.com top ten tips (lesbians):

1. Get to know your own body.

2. Go sober.

3. Go Safe.

4. Fantasize.

5. Leave the toys in the drawer.

6. Relax.

7. Communicate.

8. Have realistic expectations.

To contrast I decided to look up tips for gay man first time sex. To my shock aside from references in coming out articles, there was a general lack of gay male first time sex articles. (Although there was an abundance of first time articles about fisting, kink, and threesomes). I don’t believe that all gay men are hoes, I personally know the world’s oldest gay virgin, and so I decided the nice gay boys need a list of their own.

So here are my tips for your first time (gay guys):

  1. Tell the other person it is your first time
  2. Bring SEVERAL condoms, you never know what is gonna happen
  3. DO NOT try to imitate porn
  4. Try to relax (I suggest thinking about what’s on tv if you start to get nervous)
  5. If you’re feeling unsure about it, wait, there will always be willing and able guys out there
  6. Turn the lights out!
  7. If you have crusty feet, keep your socks on
  8. Do not assume he loves you or will even call you again if you haven’t been dating for a while
  9. Be willing to laugh (not at the other person) if something doesn’t work. Sex is funny, it’s part of life.
  10. Have fun, and don’t forget to tell your fag hag the details!

Apparently civil rights don’t include gays or women

October 24, 2007

Homosexuality is a sickness, just as are baby-rape or wanting to become head of General Motors. ~Eldridge Cleaver, “Notes on a Native Son,” Soul on Ice, 1968

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I recently came across this gem of a quote by Eldridge Cleaver and have begun to read Soul on Ice. I have not finished by any means, and as such will reserve final judgment until the end. But so far it has been possibly the oddest read of all times. It has insane range. It varies from brutally honest introspective analysis to preachy ivory tower judgments of others. It varies from oblivious and cocky to self aware and humble. It may be the most offensive thing I’ve ever read (that was not intended as hate speech) towards both women and gays. But at the same time he is very aware of his misogyny and understands his hatred is misdirected. He admits to raping multiple women and practice on girls from the ghetto. There are no direct references really, but it is well known he killed several people over the course of his life.

The book was extremely popular in the 60s, he was a revolutionary (literally and figuratively) and was considered a significant civil rights figure. But his idea of civil rights was extremely limited. He notoriously switched religions at his convenience and after each conversion was a fierce proponent of that religion and its accompanying doctrine. I think if he came forward in our politically correct world and tried to step up as a civil rights leader, he would be a laughing stock. An angry, violent ex con with a disposition towards sexism and homophobia telling us how the world should be equal. Equal for black men at least, all the while flip flopping on religion and trying to assist international revolutions.

As it is with all the crazies, I admire his passion. I am looking forward to finishing his book, and to researching him further. Maybe there is a movie!


Let’s talk about SEX

October 23, 2007

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I’m in a quote-y mood tonight. So here are a bunch of quotes about sex.

“I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.” (Scott Roeben)

“Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn’t had enough gratuitous sex.” (Geoff Spear)

“During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.” (Richard Lewis)

“There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.” (Norman Mailer)

“There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.” (Lewis Grizzard)

“I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.” (Anonymous)

“Just saying ‘no’ prevents teenage pregnancy the way ‘Have a nice day’cures chronic depression.” (Faye Wattleton)

“Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that’s not the reason we’re doing it.” (Richard Feynman)

Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery.  ~Hart Crane

“Sex always has consequences. When Hitler’s mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.” (George Carlin)

“It’s so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
Joan Rivers

“My girlfiend said to me in bed last night’ ‘you’re a pervert’ I said, ‘that’s a big word for a girl of nine’.”
Emo Philips.

“Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.”
Steve Martin

“My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects.”
Les Dawson

“When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better.”
Mae West.

For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun.  Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian.  ~Mabel Maney


Menacing Monkeys

October 22, 2007

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You are probably not going to believe this story, so here is the link.  A senior government official in India was attacked by a gang of monkeys and died yesterday.  The story goes, New Delhi Deputy Mayor S.S. Bajwa was attacked by a group of wild monkeys and as a result fell from a balcony at his home.  He died of his head injuries.  Apparently the monkeys hang out at all of the big homes, temples, and official buildings and are a major problem.

“New Delhi Deputy Mayor S.S. Bajwa was rushed to a hospital after the attack by a gang of Rhesus macaques, but succumbed to head injuries sustained in his fall, the Press Trust of India news agency and The Times of India reported.”


Wildfires continue in California

October 22, 2007

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There are massive wildfires raging across much of southern California.  I was at a family party yesterday and we literally spend two hours watching the fire spread on CNN.  It was crazy.  Cross California off my list of places to live.  I hope they get it under control today, and that the residents are able to successfully evacuate.

RAMONA, California (CNN) — Residents of about 10,000 homes northeast of San Diego were ordered Monday to flee an out-of-control wildfire, “Witch”, one of several burning across Southern California.
The Witch fire was one of several major wildfires to ignite Sunday around Los Angeles and San Diego, fueled by hot, dry conditions and pushed by fierce Santa Ana winds. Thousands of homes were threatened.  Large fires bore down on Malibu, Santa Clarita and two rural communities east of San Diego on Monday morning as thousands of firefighters battled the blazes.

The Witch fire was moving much faster than expected, and there was “a very high potential” it would enter San Diego early Monday, San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders said.

Sanders urged San Diegans in the fire’s potential path to “collect important belongings so they can evacuate immediately.” He said reverse 911 calls would be made by San Diego police to inform residents who should leave their homes.

A larger fire, fueled by wind gusts up to 80 mph, has spread more than 12,500 acres around Santa Clarita about 35 miles northwest of downtown Los Angeles.

At least 400 firefighters were deployed to battle the fire, which officials estimate has destroyed 17 buildings and threatens 3,800 Santa Clarita Valley homes. Mandatory evacuations were ordered for several communities.


It’s Maine-ly For Kid’s Protection

October 22, 2007

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This is related to the article I posted earlier this week about contraceptives in a Portland middle school.

Some parents are in a huff, that a Maine Middle School will now offer prescription contraceptives. While I think it is to a large degree unnecessary at a middle school, it is not necessarily a bad idea. If it stops one kid from getting pregnant it is worth this whole controversy. And when are parents going to get it, access to contraceptives does not make kids have sex.

The New York Times ran a good article on the situation.

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