Love, Violence, and Glue?

December 4, 2007

Imagine the scene – You are standing in the kitchen with your partner on a cold winter evening over the holidays. You get in one of those mega arguments . You call her fat, she calls you mean, tears are shed and voices are raised. She’s swinging her arms and trying to slap at you, you are trying to hold her still. Next thing you know she’s holding a knife…and wham… crazy bitch cuts you. Bloods everywhere. Previously there were only two courses of action.

Option 1: Go to the hospital before you bleed to death/pass out. Basically admit to the world you got owned. Since everyone will know what happened you will be forced to break up.

Option 2: Bleed to death/pass out. She’ll feel really bad for a few days, but won’t respect you anymore so you can expect more beatings for the duration of the relationship. You’ll be forced to stay with her forever because you feel like you can’t do any better.

But now there is an option 3..

Option 3: super glue up the cut and be a man about it. face the possibility of a banging scar and a nasty infection (thats what antibiotics are for anyway). she is so relieved you are okay, and so happy you are not going to the police/hospital, that you can expect some serious sex and attention from the crazy bitch.

Call it the secret life of Super Glue.

(NyTimes: Link)

During the Vietnam War, emergency medics began using the all-purpose glue to seal

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battle wounds in troops headed for surgery. The glue was so good at stemming bleeding that it was credited with saving many lives.

Nowadays, professional athletes often close small cuts with Super Glue or similar products to get back in the game in a hurry. The glues are also used by veterinarians, and many people keep a tube around the house to help them out of a medical pinch. It is believed that the glues — made from the chemical cyanoacrylate — not only stop bleeding quickly, but also lead to less scarring.

So should you keep some Super Glue in the medicine cabinet? Probably not, experts say. Studies show that although the glue can be useful in emergencies, it can also irritate the skin, kill cells and cause other side effects, particularly when used on deep wounds.

There is a safer alternative. In 2001, the Food and Drug Administration approved a similar, antibacterial form of the substance called 2-octyl-cyanoacrylate, which is marketed as Dermabond.

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K-I-S-S-I-N-G

November 7, 2007

I thought what better way to get through hump day, than a little kissing trivia. Enjoy!

  • The average person will spend an estimated 20,160 min kissing in their lifetime.
    Ancient Egyptians never kissed with their mouths. Instead they kissed with their noses.
  • Kissing helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva helps clean out your mouth
  • On Valentine’s Day 2004, 5,122 Philippine coupes gathered together at midnight and locked lips. This kissathon beat the previous world record of 4,445 set in January in Chile.
  • The Chinese didn’t kiss until the practice was introduced by Westerners, and they’re still not very keen on it.
    You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.
  • Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) as those that are released when you engage in intense exercise such as running a marathon or skydiving. This causes your heart to beat faster and your breathing to become deep and irregular.
  • Our brains have special neurons that help us find each others lips in the dark
  • The science of kissing is called philematology.
  • There are many strange laws regarding kissing that are still on the books. In Indiana, it is illegal for a man with a moustache to “habitually kiss human beings”. And in Hartford, CT, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on a Sunday.
  • In Naples, Italy in the 16th century, kissing was an offence that carried the death penalty.
    Onur Guentuerkuen of Ruhr-University Bochum in Bochum, Germany, studied hundreds of couples kissing.
  • In his study, he found that two-thirds of people turn their heads to the right when kissing.
  • On Valentine’s Day 2004, an Italian couple made their way into the record books with a 31-hour 18-minute Valentine kiss. The couple beat the previous record by 18 minutes and 33 seconds, however, the man had to receive oxygen afterwards.

Two More Dirty Hot Videos (Sorta Gay)

October 2, 2007

I thought the following videos had to be shared. They come from the brilliant minds at MTV.

This has so many sexual innuendos you can’t even keep count. It also has a great message:

This video is cute as well. I am not smart enough to put it embedded so you have to click on it. Sorry.
CLICK ME


10 Things Good Girls Can Learn from Porn Stars

October 1, 2007

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I came across an article on a women’s website after looking up some fairly tame health articles that explained what good girls should do in bed. Here is the link to the entire article, it is pretty funny. For each suggestion there is what a good girl does, a porn star secret, and then a little tip. I figured I would share these with you, just the tame titles of each thing, not the details. For me, they all hold true as to what I think is hot, and I am pretty much a guy, so ladies keep these in mind. To at least some extent I think they hold true in any sexual relationship gay, straight, lez, or whatever.

10 Things Good Girls Can Learn from Porn Stars

1. Show a Little Enthusiasm, Baby!
2. Speak Up!
3. Love Those Thighs!
4. Know Thyself!
5. Get a New Bedtime Script!
6. Get a Little Uncomfortable!
7. Come On, Gals, Fantasize!
8. Get Creative with the Merchandise!
9. Be a Little Selfish!
10. Stop Doing Favors!

Frequent satisfying sex is good for you, mentally and physically. So get it on people!

EDIT: I want to share a genius comment on this post:

  1. Alex Says:
    October 1st, 2007 at 10:07 am edit   3 & 4 could be combined as know thigh-self…