Fat Girls, Gay Boys?

October 29, 2007

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I always knew there was a special relationship between gay boys and fat girls.  Gay guys have fat fag hags.  I have a theory as to why.  It is a three part theory:

1.  Gay boys like to look good, and next to their fag hag they normally good.

2.  Gay boys, like fat girls, have developed a loud/sarcastic sense of humor as a self defense mechanism.

3.   They both want to chat about boys and not fear the person they are talking to is going to steal the boy they like.
But a new movie is taking that relationship to the next level, its about a gay boy finding his inner fat girl.  Check out the trailer for “Fat Girls”:

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Too bad he is a raging homo!

October 24, 2007

Apparently Lance Bass was like the best boyfriend ever. This is a cute/funny little clip. He was on the Tyra show with former girlfriend and Boy Meets World star Topanga (I don’t want to spell her real name wrong). Its about if they did or didn’t have sex.


Q&A with a sex genius/life expert

October 6, 2007

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I love the Men’s Health site. While most of the things I have come across are targeted at men about women, I think they still funny/worthwhile. They have a section of ask the Sex Professor (here) and a section about asking Jimmy The Bartender (here), both provide quality answers to readers questions. But what makes reading the questions so enjoyable is sometimes the readers ask the weirdest/grossest/funniest/or most obvious questions. The experts take them in stride and provide helpful, well phrased answers. On the actual site the Sex Expert answers hundreds of questions about every range of sexuality, including positions, techniques, history, science, and relationship advice. Jimmy The Bartender gives out general life advice, mainly related to relationships but also about friendship, parenting, and dealing with co workers. He gives surprisingly good answers and deals with some serious problems like alcoholism and death. To give you a sampling, I have listed a question with a funny/obvious answer, a weird question, a TMI question, a medicine question and a good to know anatomical question. To give you a heads up, this artice is for adults. They talk about naughty bits.

Q: My girlfriend knows that I bought her an engagement ring, and ever since, she’s been acting bitchy. Is she going to say no?

Jimmy The Bartender® Answers:
Other night, taking the subway home, I’m waiting on the platform. I’m waiting, and waiting. Half an hour, then 40 minutes, and I think, I could’ve walked home by this time. Was I annoyed? Yes. But I also knew that it was a mistake to leave, because I knew it was going to come eventually, and I really wanted to ride that train. I think your girlfriend feels the same way. Women are gentle creatures. I think if she were going to say no, she would’ve left by now to spare you some embarrassment. My guess is that she’s just antsy. She wants you to pull up, open the doors, and invite her along for a great ride.

Q: Why do wet dreams stop? How can I get them back?Ask the Sex Professor Answers:
Although wet dreams are most common during puberty, for some they continue into adulthood. Dry spells (times of little or no masturbation or sex) can result in wet dreams, so you may need to choose between sleeping and waking orgasms. Wet dreams can also be triggered by friction or a full bladder. If you don’t mind risking a midnight bathroom run, try drinking water before bed to see if your dreams become hyperrealistic.
Q: Ever since my girlfriend started taking birth-control pills, she seems to want sex less often. Are they related?

Jimmy The Bartender® Answers:
Unfortunately, yes. The estrogen contained in most birth-control pills may lower levels of free testosterone, which is associated with libido. Others suggest that the blame may be misplaced, as sexual frequency tends to decline in long-term relationships anyway, Pill or no Pill. Desire and interest may also be influenced by stress, fatigue, depression, medications, and relationship issues. So, if she’s willing, attack the problem on several fronts. Ask about lower-estrogen pills, hit the gym, and consider therapy appointments with either a psychologist or a sex therapist.
Q: I’m hung like a blimp. Even jumbo condoms sometimes break. How can I have safer sex if the condoms I’ve tried don’t work?

Jimmy The Bartender® Answers:
Poor guy. Sometimes a kielbasa can be a curse. Condoms like Lifestyles XL, Trojan Magnum, and Durex XXL give most men the breathing room they need; applying a water- or silicone-based lubricant to the outside (making sure to reapply during particularly long or vigorous bouts of sex) can further reduce friction and breakage risk. If that doesn’t work, a more tailored option is TheyFit condoms, which come in 55 sizes. Download a Fit Kit fromwww.condomania.com.
Q: My girlfriend has extremely hot friends, and we’re going on a beach trip. I’m worried about getting an erection. Is there anything I can do to control it?

Ask the Sex Professor Answers:
It’s best to have a multipronged approach: baggy swim trunks, dips in cool water, Jedi mind tricks (think about work), and a preregistered excuse: Tell your girlfriend you’re worried about driftwood because you can’t stop thinking about how hot she looks in a swimsuit.
Q: My girlfriend says her breasts are too big to have sensitive nipples. Can this be true?

Ask the Sex Professor Answers:
Sure. Larger breasts (C or D cups) are generally less sensitive than smaller ones. It’s thought that there’s some nerve-fiber damage associated with stretched skin and connective tissue. But don’t despair. Though the nipple and areola–which many men focus on–are low on sensitivity, the top of the breast is highly sensitive. Explore her northern hemispheres or, if she’s game, apply flavored, menthol-infused, sensitivity-boosting Bosom Buddy (pureromance.com) to her nipples and areolas. But if she’s not aroused by breast play, move on. You have an entire body to savor.


Perfect Date Tips for the Clueless

October 5, 2007

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This is a list of 20 tips to the perfect date, they are geared at the first date. I would think almost all of them are common sense, but what I am gathering about men is that they know little to nothing. Sorry boys. But boys want sex and girls want sex with a good relationship so you are looking for different things on a first date. Here you go:

By: Samantha Daniels (LINK)

1. It’s okay to suggest a drink instead of dinner for a first date. She dreads a boring four-course ordeal, too.

2. Call her by early evening on Monday to confirm a Tuesday get-together. (Weekends aren’t for first dates.)

3. Leave your home and work numbers. No home number and she’ll assume you have a wife or girlfriend.

4. If you want to keep the plans a surprise, at least clue her in as to what to wear. You do not want an overdressed, overstressed woman navigating the Talladega pits in high heels

5. Yes, she’ll notice if the date location you’ve chosen is conveniently around the block from your place.

6. Don’t assume that just because you’re out with a beautiful woman, she knows how pretty she looks — she wants to hear it from you.

7. Ask if she’s too cold or too warm, and if changing the temperature is in your power, fix it.

8. Men judge women according to whether they can picture having sex with them; women judge men by whether they can imagine kissing them. White teeth, fresh breath, and unchapped lips make her more apt to pucker up.

9. Do not ask her, “So, what kind of music do you like?” The last 25 guys asked that. Be original.

10. She loves when you insist on ordering dessert. Sharing = extra sexy.

11. Tip well: Grab the check, mentally divide the bill by 10, double that number, and throw down the tip. Do it quickly but casually. Believe me, she’ll be watching.

12. If she touches your arm, she’s interested; if she touches your leg, she’s interested tonight.

13. When in doubt, hold her hand.

14. Very small protective gestures go a long way and show her you’re a gentleman: Offer your arm as she’s stepping from a curb, direct her away from shards of broken glass aka Say Anything. She’ll notice if you wait until she’s safely in her car or house before you leave. Wait the extra 90 seconds, and next time you might be going in with her.

15. She expects you to know her eye color after the first date.

16. Women need momentum — without it, they lose interest or wonder if you have. Momentum = a minimum of one date a week, plus a couple of phone calls in between.

17. She knows that when you invite her over for a homemade meal or to watch a movie, it’s code for “tonight is hook-up night.” Don’t play this card any earlier than date three.

18. A Friday or Saturday night is required by date four. Otherwise, she’ll wonder who else you’re seeing.

19. Rule of Groping: If anything happens that couldn’t be shown on prime-time TV, call her the next day. Otherwise, she’ll feel cheap and used.

20. Don’t say, “I’ll call you,” if you have no intention to. She’d prefer that you say nothing at all.

Good luck in life and love. The bold ones are the ones that would critical on a date with me.


21 Things Men Need to Know about Women

October 5, 2007

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    I came across a list of 50 things women wished men knew (LINK). These are the ones I personally find true. I love how some are incredibly stereotypical of women and some I think men would have no clue about. But in both situations I think they generally hold true. Obviously not all women are as insecure as some of the list would suggest, but honestly a lot of us are. 

    As always I think many of the “things women wish men knew” is translatable to my gay and lesbian readers.  For lesbians you would think both know everything on the list and would be careful not to hurt each others feelings as  much as straight couples, or that the communication would be somehow better.  But I can tell you first hand that I have done things counter to the list which have gotten me in trouble, and Christina has also not taken the extra second to think where I might be coming from before she says something.  For gay men, you are practically women anyway, just kidding, sorta.  But my gay boys out there, you know you can be sensitive about looks and insecure about if your partner is still into you too.

1. Saying “I love you” immediately before, during, or following sex doesn’t count.

5. I’m convinced I’m pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

9. I’m terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

13. I’m scared of losing my independence.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I’m not. (See directly above.)

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

33. You’re sexy when you’re shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you–and for you to recognize this.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It’s cheating as soon as you’re doing something with her that you wouldn’t want me to see, hear, read…

48. For the record: I’d rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

 

 


Hot Gay Best Friend Sex

October 4, 2007


I got this article from a seedy website. I would link to it, but there are pretty much naked people all over and I don’t want to advertise porn. But I think it actually has some valuable advice for those trying to stage a hook up with their best friends. The advice holds somewhat true for straight and lesbian couples as well, but as the article was target for gay men, I left in the pronouns.

There’s something about best friends. You love them, you share everything with them, but you don’t really want to have hot gay sex. Except maybe once. We’re only human. We’re not made of stone. Emotions can have a habit of over-spilling. And this is one occasion when it’s arguable great first time sex with a ‘new’ partner can happen while quite drunk.

These are the rules:

1. Right now, never mind tomorrow morning or earlier this evening, do you both want to have sex? Or is it just you? Or is it just him? If either of the latter two options applies, stick to the beers until neither of you is any longer capable – You can just drool on to each other about love, like straight friends. If, on the other hand, you really are both up for it, then it could be time for some fun.

2. Do you or does he have a boyfriend? To whom are you or he committed? If there is a one-on-one boyfriend in the background, bear in mind that if you do have sex now you won’t be seeing each other again for about six months – and then it will be boyfriend-chaperoned and distinctly frosty.

3. Do either of you really want a relationship with the other person – and being best friends has been the second best alternative to that? If so, it could be sex will shake it out of your system, or it could be Fatal Attraction time. Up to you.

4. Are you very good at keeping sex and love conceptually separate? Sex and friendship can coexist perfectly well, but if you associate sex with intimate love and commitment you are heading for trouble.

5. Are you going to learn something about your best friend you’d rather you didn’t know? In terms of ‘kink’ and performative preferences, it could be best to have lots of talk about sex beforehand. Like you haven’t.

6. To sum up: will sex be great fun and a way of sharing friendship and bonding, or is it a very big deal? If the latter, press ‘play’ on the next DVD.

7. And finally: Don’t fondle your friend in the morning. That was last night; this is now.

Keep in mind hooking up with your best friend, can be the start of the best relationship of your life or the end of one of the best relationships in your life. But in most cases it will fall in between. Good luck in life and love.


Gay Wedding Announcements

October 3, 2007

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After reading this article on QueerSighted, I thought I’d share with you.
Article: They Are Adorable: A Gay Wedding and The New York Times

First, a clip from Sex and the City that is on the link, but encase you don’t click the article:

But what struck me is the prevalence of gay and lesbian wedding/union announcements. I mean I see them on the Times website, but the Times is coming from uber-liberal New York, so it is to be expected. But recently I have seen announcements in the papers sitting on my table. The Bucks County Courier Times (although it may have been an article not exactly an announcement) and the Philadelphia Inquirer. So I looked up just how common they are and what started the trend. I was unsurprised to find out GLAAD was largely behind the push for newspapers to publish inclusive announcements. The campaign GLAAD ran to encourage newspapers to adopt inclusive policies was called Announcing Equality and here is the website.

As of January, GLAAD reported that 883 newspapers—nearly 60 percent of all daily newspapers in the United States—now accept wedding and/or commitment ceremony announcements for gay and lesbian couples. That number has increased nearly 584 percent since it was first measured in 2002.

Among the Announcing Equality campaign’s other successes:

  • All of the nation’s top 50 media markets and 99 of the top 100 are home to at least one newspaper with an inclusive announcement policy.
  • An estimated 75 percent of all U.S. newspaper readers read a paper that accepts wedding announcements from same-sex couples.
  • All 50 states and the District of Columbia have newspapers that print same-sex union announcements. (In 2004, Mississippi was the lone holdout.)
  • 319 U.S. daily newspapers have printed at least one same-sex union announcement.

I think thats great. I personally don’t know if I would make an announcement, in fact I probably wouldn’t. But I know I would have liked to have seen them when I was growing up.