For the Bi Guys

March 19, 2008

NYC-based writer/director/actor Greg Scarnici’s rap exposes the bisexual lifestyle. He is a pretty funny guy and does some wicked Amy Winehouse, Britney, and Madonna spoofs. Check out his videos here.


Skateboards, Movies, and Homos?

March 6, 2008

I HATE Gus Van Sant. Let me get that out of the way first. Now sure he has been involved with many films I liked, such as Good Will Hunting. But My Private Idaho and Elephant are probably two of my least favorite movies of all time. Well he is directing the Harvey Milk biopic (wondering who is Harvey Milk?).  So I looked up the film because there is a lot of buzz about which celebrities are in it.  Currently Sean Penn, Emile Hirsch, and James Franco are attached/filming.  But that is not the point of this post.  It turns out there is a Gus Van Sant movie coming out soon.  Paranoid Park.  Heres the plot line: A teenage skateboarder’s life begins to fray after he is involved in the accidental death of a security guard.  I watched the trailer and I want to see it.


Definitely, Maybe a Pedophile

February 23, 2008

This is an unaired Soup skit about Definitely, Maybe.  The movie is adorable, sweet, funny, and a great chick flick.  I rushed out to see it on Valentines day.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a spoof.  Particularlly a wildly inappropriate one.   Check it out!


I’m All for Naked Girls, but..

February 19, 2008

lindsay_lohan320.jpg

Have you all seen the new Lindsay Lohan photos?

from People.com

In what is likely her greatest role to date, Lindsay Lohan plays Marilyn Monroe between the sheets – literally – in the new spring fashion issue of New York magazine.

Recreating Monroe’s legendary 1962 final photo shoot for Bert Stern with the veteran lensman himself, Lohan posed for the spread on Feb. 5 at the Hotel Bel-Air.

Here is a link to the photos. The photos are gross.  They are cheap, exploitative, and visually disturbing.  She is a drug addict slut and is likely to suffer a Marilyn Monroe fate.  So the accompanying articles references to Monroe (and Heath Ledger’s) untimely deaths make Lohan seem out of touch with reality (she talks about how that won’t happen to her).  The camera man, Stern, is famous for the originals and the sexy depth they showed.  These are cheap restagings that don’t deserve the media storm they are generating.  Additionally, couldn’t someone airbrush the 40,000 freckles off her body.

At least she isn’t rail thin anymore.  Now her extremely pale boobs are a reasonable size.


Hot Chicks With DoucheBags

February 11, 2008

I have found a new guilty pleasure website. HotChicksWithDouchebags. The site has pictures (with commentary) of the dreaded, but common, club casualty: hot chicks with douchebags. Unbelieveably good looking women with swarmy, greasy men. Hair puffed up, shirt unbuttoned 30k millionaires, drunk frat guys throwing gang signs, and old men trying to score with young girls. Of particular interest is the Douchies, they give out awards for the douchiest of douches.

2007 Douchies


Big Boobs, Big Diabetes?

February 9, 2008

I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal (and by recently I mean I recently found my January 31 edition). The point of the article was women with larger breasts have increase risk of adult diabetes (more properly Type II since it is increasing occurring in children and adolescents). That is an of itself is not shocking nor news, since the biggest predictor is obesity and with big bodies often come big boobs. What I found crazy is that the increased risk of diabetes occurs when the study controlled for waist size and BMI. Although, as far as I know, they did not take into consider past size or BMI.  Overweight and obese women may develop breasts earlier and to a greater extend due to increased estrogen levels, so larger breasts in some instances may correlate to a larger size person who has lost weight.

Wall Street Journal health blog

On a less serious note, let me explain the big women, big boobs phenomenon.  Fat women have large breasts, very skinny women have small breasts.  Now that doesn’t always hold, we all know lucky bitches who are skinny and have big boobs, and sadly we all know a couple unfortunate ladies who are big but small chested.  But in general we understand, boobs are made of fat, fat people have fat, and therefore there is going to be a relationship.  Now some may say this is merely the science of fat distribution, but I know the truth.  It is proof there is some sort of just force or God governing the world.  Most men are looking for a skinny woman, and that to them is more important than breast size.  But there is also a chunk of self proclaimed “breast men”.     The “breast men” will pursue larger women knowing there will be larger breasts.  This is the mate distribution system.   Otherwise only skinny women could ever find men.  By giving overweight women bigger breasts the playing field is leveled.


Loveline: The Big Break Up Edition

February 1, 2008

Being dumped can be terrible. Dumping someone can be terrible. While neither party is happy during the dumping, in the long run both may be happier. Well there is an awesome website “So You’ve Been Dumped

It covers all the important bases of dumping, like what books to read or music to listen to. It has humor and advice. It has good break lines (some good in the true sense, but mostly good in the funny sense).  For example, the site suggests Billie Holiday’s –“Good Morning Heartache ” as a post break up song. I would like to share my suggestion, Ani Difranco’s “untouchable face”.  One of the books it suggests is Exorcising Your Ex – Elizabeth Kuster . My suggestion is It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken – Greg and Amiira Behrendt.

Harsh Break Up Lines:

“Dating you is killing who I am.”

“I have lost all romantic feelings for you completely, and I desire no future relationship with you.”

“She’s exactly like you used to be – before you became a bitch.”

“I think you love me more than I love you.”

“The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you.”

“I don’t think you have it in you to be a good mother. When I thought about marrying you, I only thought about whether you’d make a good wife…I didn’t think about whether you’d make a good mother too.”

“Really, it’s not you, I’m just going through a selfish phase…”

“I think we have three choices: 1) stay together, 2) take a break, or 3) break up entirely, and I want 2 or 3.”

Nicole’s Top Five Tips for Breaking Up

1.  Tell your mutual friends what you are thinking, make them swear to secrecy, and then give it a little time, at least one of them will give him/her a heads up.  Maybe they will dump you first, or at least they won’t look like a deer in the headlights.

2.  DO NOT START DATING ANYONE ELSE until it is completely over, if you have already started dating someone else then LIE

3.  Cry before they do.

4.  If you do it close to a holiday, you are a jerk and yes you still have to get a present.

5. His/Her friends, relatives, and coworkers are off limits for a time period equal to or greater than the duration of your relationship (exception-when your ex gets engaged/married)