Lions for Lambs for Losers

I love politics. I love movies. I love heated debates about the “war on terror”, Iraq, Afghanistan, and the importance of national service. I love Meryl Streep. I love uber liberal Robert Redford. I should have loved Lions for Lambs.

But I didn’t. In fact, I hated it. I thought it was one of the worst films I saw this year. Over hyped, over advertised, over acted, and over ambitious. In fact, I thought it was so bad I needed to post about it.

Problems:

It is preachy and self important. It tells you what is important and just how important it is. It had Tom Cruise just spouting the same Republican Party lines I could watch on CNN of the value of security and turning the Middle East into some Christian moral crusade. It had Meryl Streep as a weak, menopausal reporter who lost the spunk and dedication to truth journalists used to have. She was only capable of saying something needed to be done (and of course to compare the situation to Vietnam). Robert Redford was the worst; he was supposed to be the inspirational teacher who changes apathetic American kids into the proponents of change while having done nothing himself. Except it was so dry the only thing it inspired me to do was fall asleep. Intermittent through the two main conversations were some decent scenes of two soldiers, exploitation cinema at its finest. Although that was essentially to make you sympathize with the troops regardless of your political views by making them minority martyrs dying for our sins. Then after no plot, there was no resolution. I guess it was just to pose the questions you should be asking yourself about our government already. Except the problem is if you weren’t already asking those questions you wouldn’t have gone to see the movie, so it was preaching to the choir. It was also incredibly spineless, there was a general leaning towards anti-war sentiments, but it wasn’t strong or in your face. Just a terribly ineffective, boring tirade made my Hollywood to try to prove some sort of political awareness. I don’t care that you read the newspaper Robert Redford.

My advice:

If you are looking for a movie to make you ask yourself what is right and wrong, check out Gone Baby Gone. That is a fine example of movie posing moral questions while still having an entertaining and fast paced storyline.

21 Things Men Need to Know about Women

    I came across a list of 50 things women wished men knew (LINK). These are the ones I personally find true. I love how some are incredibly stereotypical of women and some I think men would have no clue about. But in both situations I think they generally hold true. Obviously not all women are as insecure as some of the list would suggest, but honestly a lot of us are. 

    As always I think many of the “things women wish men knew” is translatable to my gay and lesbian readers.  For lesbians you would think both know everything on the list and would be careful not to hurt each others feelings as  much as straight couples, or that the communication would be somehow better.  But I can tell you first hand that I have done things counter to the list which have gotten me in trouble, and Christina has also not taken the extra second to think where I might be coming from before she says something.  For gay men, you are practically women anyway, just kidding, sorta.  But my gay boys out there, you know you can be sensitive about looks and insecure about if your partner is still into you too.

1. Saying “I love you” immediately before, during, or following sex doesn’t count.

5. I’m convinced I’m pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

9. I’m terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

13. I’m scared of losing my independence.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I’m not. (See directly above.)

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

33. You’re sexy when you’re shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you–and for you to recognize this.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It’s cheating as soon as you’re doing something with her that you wouldn’t want me to see, hear, read…

48. For the record: I’d rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

 

 

Sex Tips

I got the message. My two previous sex posts (homemade porn tips, and tips from porn for good girls) were two of my most popular posts ever.

You want sex. Nay, you need sex. Well always looking to please my readers, who are apparently always looking to please someone in their life, I’ve decided to post a more extensive sex tip article. Today I am taking notes from bible of sex tips, Cosmo. Cosmo split the tips into categories: Get Him Riled Up, Feisty Foreplay, Getting it On, His Down There Domain, and Kink it Up. They are tips men sent in for women. Now from the multitude of tips found within their website, I’ve tried to pick what I found the best.

This selection was based on four factors:

1. Did I feel it was translatable to my gay and lesbian audience well? (I would never forget you kids)
2. Would I personally find the item sexy or enjoyable?
3. Did it make sense?
4. Was it clean enough that I wouldn’t feel bad if kids stumbled on here, but dirty enough to entice my adult readers?

Before you continue, these are tips for adults. For my more adventurous adult readers check out the actual site (Cosmo Article) they have the really juicy tips, with the specifics of what to put where and how to…..

Get Him Riled Up (or Her)

“When I lean in to kiss you, hold the back of my head gently in your hand. It’s tender yet sexy.” – Donny, 34

“The night after I got a big promotion my girlfriend said she was going to give me only oral sex all night.” –Ken, 32.

“If we’re somewhere semi-public and can’t go at each other, press your hips against mine.” –Henry, 25

Feisty Foreplay

“Do what my first girl did: Moan my name while I pleasure you.” –Eddie, 28.

“My current girlfriend treated me to a ‘bed dance’: she had me lie on my back while she slowly rubbed herself along my chest, stomach…” –Arlo, 27

“My girl pretended not to want to kiss me. I had to use my tongue to pry her mouth open passionately.” –Ron, 25

Getting It on

(Most of the tips were too graphic, I picked two tame ones)

“Tell me to get undressed but to keep my tie on. Pull on it to bring me closer to you.” –Ted, 31.

“When you’re near the point of no return, whisper four letter words into my ears –the really dirty ones.” –Fred, 23.

Down There Domain

(too graphic and really only applicable to men)

Kink It Up

“My fiancé will blindfold me and rub her body across my face. I can only use my mouth and tongue to identify what I’m feeling” –Carter, 29.

“One night, my girlfriend stopped the action and pointed to the camera she’d set up in the corner.” –Justine, 21

“My ex would me at local dive bars and pull me into the restroom for raunchy, against-the wall sex.” –Max 21.

“Treat your guy to sex under water. With your bodies feeling so weightless…” –Mark, 29

“Morning sex please” –Charlie, 26

“While we’re driving alone on a back road, ask me to pull over and then jump into my lap. You’ll be fulfilling my teenage fantasy of getting busy in my care.” –Jason, 34.

Phillies

Philadelphia has reason to celebrate. The Phillies won the National League East title in the 6-1 victory over the Nationals this afternoon. This is the Phillies first trip to the postseason since 1993. As the division champion, Philadelphia awaits the winner of Monday’s one-game playoff between San Diego and Colorado, with the winner earning the NL Wild Card. Cole Hamels will be ready for Game 1 of the NL Division Series.

I think this is just the right thing for Philadelphia right now. There is such a positive focus on the winning streak and now the postseason match ups. The news just keeps showing the game highlights and making predictions. Every broadcast includes happy go lucky shots of the fans waving their rally towels or cheering fans with cute children celebrating. The news is lacking its usual rape suspect’s mug shots, today’s accidental shootings, and missing children photos. I think if you tell a city it is awful too many times, it starts to think of itself that way and then things will never change.

Way to go Phillies, I will have to remember to wear a Phillies shirt tomorrow.

Gay Cop sues

Another story of discrimination in the news. When will cities learn that comprehensive sensitivity training and severe punishments will be the only way to stop the sexism, racism and homophobia in many public jobs. The cities lose so much money in lawsuits.

Gay Cop Sues NYPD For Harassment
by The Associated Press

(New York City) A gay police officer has filed a discrimination suit against the city and the New York Police Department, saying he was threatened with violence, called vulgar names and treated unfairly by supervisors because of his sexuality.

Harrington says in court papers that his trouble with co-workers started in February 2003, when he told another officer at the 75th Precinct in Brooklyn that he was gay.

Harrington, of Brooklyn, said in the suit that within months he overheard an officer in the men’s room referring to him as a “faggot.” Harrington spoke to the officer who said he would hurt Harrington if he confronted the officer again.

Court papers say Harrington also repeatedly sought a transfer from the 75th Precinct but his written applications “kept getting lost.” He was told that after he finally transferred, that someone posted obscene drawings of him in a sex act, the lawsuit alleges.

While working at the 79th Precinct in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn, Harrington brought his domestic partner to the station house Christmas party. Upon introducing his partner, another officer spit out his drink and began laughing.

Harrington says he complained to a supervisor about being mistreated and the supervisor said he was going to transfer him to the Sixth Precinct in Greenwich Village “so plaintiff could be with his people,” the suit said.

At the Sixth Precinct, court papers say, a co-worker told Harrington in December 2006 that “all faggots should be shot.”

According to the suit, the stress, harassment and a hostile work environment caused Harrington to develop stomach cramps and nausea.

The lawsuit, filed Wednesday at a state court in Manhattan, asked for unspecified money damages.

Death from Smoochin’

People shouldn’t cheat on each other.  Obviously it hurts your partner, it could lead to diseases, and usually results in the demise of your relationship.  But after reading a Chinese news article this morning, I have found there is even more incentive to stay faithful.  A Chinese woman who suspected her long time lover was cheating on her killed him.  But not a rage filled stabbing or a quick painless shooting.  How you may ask?  Rat poison.  Rat poison is a common method of suicide and murder in China.  Keep that in mind for travel to China if you get in a fight with the person making your dinner.  What makes is sick hot / twisted love is that she filled a pellet with the posion and told him to meet up with her at bath house.  Once she got him kissing, she slipped it out of her mouth into his.  The poor bastard swallowed it with no idea and died shortly afterward.

Take Home Message: Be careful who you kiss today.

Reuter Story

I meant to Pee on it, I swear

Those crazy inventive Asians are at it again. For those of you who are secretly water sport inclined, now you can have a alternative outlet for your zeal. (Aside from the toilet).

NoPoPo (Non-Pollution Power) Aqua Batteries are available in both AA and AAA form, although the company page shows they are producing the technology for all sizes of battery, and can only be currently purchased in Japan. The batteries can be recharged with various different fluids using the new development which forms electric power using liquid as a catalyst. The basic principle is that a mixture of magnesium and carbon reacts when mixed with a liquid to produce, in the case of the AA battery, up to 500 milliamp-hours (mAh) of life. Each time the battery is recharged it has a lower power level than the time before and the life cycle allows for about 3 to 5 recharges before disposing of the battery. Each battery can potentially keep its charge for up to 10 years which could be great for many life saving devices in remote locations. Since the battery does not contain mercury and other harmful materials, it can be easily disposed of without worry for the environment.

Story

While it sounds just weird/gross, I think they may be on to something. In the developed world it could add much needed levity (Imagine: Someone running around the house having to pee so bad, but wants to find the batteries first. Or someone who wants batteries for the remote or something, but just can’t force any out, so they go ask their neighbor.) In the developing world, it would provide an environmentally friendly renewable battery source.

Odds and Ends

Odd things happen every day; the only difference is these just made the news. I present the 5 random stories I came across, in no particular order.

1. Employees at a German butcher’s shop were surprised to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai.
2. An Australian burglar broke into a neighbor’s house and played sex games in the bathroom with a bottle of toilet detergent and a vacuum cleaner. He was sentence to 12 months community service.
3. A lonely baboon in a private Lithuanian zoo has adopted a chicken he saved from certain death last month and the two have formed a fast friendship, the zoo’s director said Friday. The chicken was meant to be food for another animal, but escaped. This is the cute story of the day.
4. A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy. Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face. The person who started the autopsy is the tool bag of the day.
5. 16,000 words have lost their hyphens in a new edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. Some became two words and some were shortened to one. Ice cream, test tube, and hobby horse all lost a hyphen and are now sets of two words. Bumblebee, chickpea, and crybaby are now each officially one word.

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